Two quotes have become my constant companions, two of which are apt here, and I will go ahead and tell you about them.
The first from Dante’s Inferno: The hottest places in Hell are reserved for those who, in times of moral crisis, preserve their neutrality.
When I encountered it for the first time, it struck a chord, but I didn’t get its entire purpose. But the beauty of this thought is that once it has tuned to one's inherent resonance frequency and revealed itself to one, it can never be unseen.
And so, as I continued trekking through the barren, disquieting wastelands of modern life and adult existence, it gave me moments of solace, the will to perform, and the courage to remain "irreverent". This is because it is life’s Occam Razor, enabling one to quickly gravitate towards a side rather than continue in the agony of ambiguity and amorphousness of the middle. The middle's intrinsic problem is that it requires constant reinforcement. Take a look at any political debate anywhere on the planet, and you'll see how this dynamic plays out. The centrists are the people who are most uncomfortable and constantly provide explanations for every damn thing under the sun.
After removing all superfluous logic, we will realize that we don't like that middle ground, but we feel safe because of the herd. We only label it as messy because it provides us with a sense of self-respect and self-justification. Similarly, despite the abundance of sophisticated arguments against alcohol consumption, alcoholism remains the most common vice among humans.
I would like to bring to your serious contemplation the idea that what if the real journey is not the messy middle path but the extremes, the polarities? What if the idea that you have begun thinking about “so many things are journeys instead of polarities, or of thinking of the messy middle as a place of comfort” is the first sign of losing the spark, becoming reverent, and adopting institutionalization as the convenient way to the grave? What would happen if you continued on this path and ended up like Alex from The Clockwork Orange?
I have constantly prided myself on my extremely erratic nature and spontaneity. I was drawn to the idea of "living on polarities" at a very young age. And I have tried very hard to continue living my life in this binary. To be honest, I have paid more than I have received. But for me, this binary has allowed me to cut through the noise and focus on the signal, allowing my mind to work out the other serious things that one encounters on lazy, rainy afternoons. When enjoying yourself, do so to the hilt. When loving, surrender. When angry, they let it consume them.
Yet I do have messy middles, and I am happy to report that they are not of my making. Despite resisting the temptation to slip into my comfort zone, I've come to terms with the fact that others might not share my experiences. So, I allow them to project their messy middle into my life. And adhering to my own principle of living on extremes, I accept the messy middle of others in totality. I am safe in the knowledge that only God can be the witness of my actions, and only she can give me justice. This leads me to my second favorite quote.
Meri zindigi, meri manzilen, mujhe koorb me nahin door de. (Let my life and destiny be not near but far away and difficult to attain.)
Mujhe tu dikha wo rasta jo safar ke baad guroor de. (Show me that arduous path, which, when complete, fills me with pride.)
Wohi jazba de jo shahid ho; ho Khushi to jaise ki eid ho; (Give me the passion of that soldier who is willing to die, relinquishing everything; and give me that happiness of Eid (feasting), which comes after 30 days of hunger.)
Agar gham mile to bala ka ho; mujhe wo bhi tu ek suroor de. (And if you want to give me unhappiness, then do that and fill me with that painful ecstasy as well.)
