Some old emails, some forgotten notes.

Some old emails, some forgotten notes.

I have been looking at my old emails, and I see the date stamp on them. I can visualize how it was during that time. Life was good; it was competitive. There is an old saying that time that passes is always a good time. It’s when time ceases to move that humans suffer.

I heard this a long time ago and always discarded it as some old, forgotten statement made by some deranged mind. However, now I realize what it means. How deep it’s meaning is... come to think of it, one might be going through the most difficult times of all, and one keeps believing that this will not be forgotten, but as life moves on, all those rough edges are blunted and rounded, and all one can remember are those bitter-sweet (more sweet and less bitter) memories.

I remember my first day at work. What enthusiasm and dreams for the future I had, and how I struggled to be the best. I was hostile, anxious, afraid, daring, and exuberant at the same time. I fought with my loved ones, including the one I loved the most. What did that person do for me? How selfless and noble! I remember how I snubbed this person and how suspicious he was. I remember who all stood there to support me—maybe because they loved me and maybe because they had vested interests (more of the latter than the former). Everybody said it’s an organization of change, and I did not heed the winds of change.

And then those series of events struck me like one bombshell after another. My life was destroyed; my world was like a pack of cards in the wind, and I thought this was the worst time of my life. Initially, I had no idea what to do, but then I realized that there was no other option but to pick up the pieces and move on.

Time has passed, and I stand in a better, more aloof position than I was during those tumultuous days. I have battle scars that remind me of the many battles that I fought and mostly lost. Things have changed, maybe for the better or for the worse, and I guess God (or anybody out there in the unknown) knows. It's time for me to move on again, and I turn back and look. It was a good time, a dangerous time, and a deciding time. It was a time when, like they say in bestselling books, life was at a crossroads and all paths looked rosy and thorny at the same time.

I chose what I had to choose, or maybe I chose what I was forced to choose by destiny. And I look back and think, the time that has passed is always a good time.